“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley
Have you really been a friend or have you forgotten what the word means? Women you know we can be so catty, especially us in the church. We are the very ones who say we love one another, yet in turn destroy each other. I know as I have been guilty of it a few times myself. It’s not always about you every waking moment of every day. Pickup up the phones sometimes and just say I was thinking of you today. Text sometimes and say enjoy your day, or send a note that simply read I love you. That’s what friends do. Let’s stop rolling our eyes at each other, competing against each other, being super spiritual to prove a point! Let’s just be!!! FRIENDS
I know you find that difficult and you know why, because YOU have never been a true friend, so you reap what you sow. You have been judgmental, hateful, nasty, bitter, and unapologetic in your actions and tone and it has cost you a friend. Change who you are and watch God send you some real friends.
Webster defines friendship as relationship of mutual affection between people.
To be totally transparent, I have had the joy of having some awesome women enter and leave my life that I would consider friends. Some I have told my deepest secrets too and they have in return shared those secrets, yet I still considered them friends because they were there for me in some of my darkest moments. Some have walked with me and saw my flaws and began to judge me based on those flaws. Others have used my kindness and stolen my thoughts, plans, and ideas as their own. No matter what their flaw, I remained what Webster states I should have been….a friend. I love the statement Bob Marley made about friendship, because the truth is that people will hurt you, but you have to find the ones worth suffering for!
As you grow, you discover that you need a different type of person in your circle. It’s called a relationship! Over the last few months, God has graced me with the privileged of surrounding me with awesome women who I now consider friends. We are friends not because we need anything from each other, not because I’m a Pastors wife, not because we are trying to ride each other coat tails, not because we want to know each other’s secrets so that we can go out and duplicate what the other is doing (this happened to me all the time), we are friends because we honestly just want to support one another in this thing called life. We share thoughts, plans, ideas, and encourage one another to grow in areas that we need it.
Will we one day hurt each other’s feelings…Yes. Will we eventually step on each other’s toes and not know it, SURE.
Here are some keys ladies to help you remain a true friend and to help you become a true friend.
Pick people who have similar interests as you but don't rule out people who aren't exactly like you.
Remember the Golden Rule - treat others the way you would like to be treated. If you respect others, others will respect you.
Realize that nobody's perfect, everybody has quirks and flaws, and accepting each other's flaws is key to a good friendship.
Value each other's opinions.
Realize that even the best of friends can't be together 24/7. Develop other interests and don't be jealous when your friend has other interests as well.
Communication is really important, your friend can't read your mind, if something is affecting your friendship, tell him/her.
Don't let outside factors like stress affect your friendship. A good friend will let you vent to them, but don’t just use them to vent and you should be ready to listen in return.
Learn from each other.
Don't talk behind your friend's back.
Choose your words wisely, because you can never take them back.